Hers

i worry. Most of the time too much. It's one of those things i do well. Always so clinical. Hypothesis, thesis, antithesis. Isn't that the scientific process? Then replicate your results. Master always mumbles about it. And He is right. "Paralysis, by analysis."

So it's not unusual that i worry now. More so about the other girls in Mistress's household. All amazingly sweet. Drop dead gorgeous. Sexy and fun. i just worry about my role. My character. How i fit in. Whether my brand of submission is over the top and too much... Or maybe not enough?

i have heard it all before "Your kink is not my kink" and it's almost always followed by,"...and that's ok". Usually it is. Then again i have seen it create dissension, trouble, even work as a wedge between people. None of that is happening, of course. Not even in the slightest. And i don't feel any of it in the house. i have only met K once, and C a few times.... and played with them all for a bit. Yummy fun to say the least. That doesn't happen between a group in chaos. But i was reluctant to actually call Mistress, Mistress the other day in front of C. And then again in front of K. Not at all because i am self-conscious of it. Far from it. More so because i want to make sure i fit. Mistress is amazing. An educated and experienced Lady in her own right, and She is superb as a reader of personalities. Insightful and attentive. Yet i also know that while the rhythm of the house may be great, all of a sudden drop some relatively high protocol, trained submissive girl in the mix with a bag full of crazy toys and a sex drive making the jump to light speed.... Well, i'm sure the implications are apparent. It worked with Lo... Amazingly. i worried then too.

On the other hand.... Mistress today was incredible. She is so generous and picking up things She wishes me to have (which makes me crazy because i am more than comfortable in sl and can afford to do anything i wish or She wishes for me) and did some picking out for me today. i love creating my outfits for Her to help set the scene for Her. i see it as part of my "service" to Her, but i also love to be dressed and given given a direction to go in. She does that amazingly well. Following that.... She took command of me at the apartment. i fell right into it. i only hope my emoting was alright for Her and satisfied Her. my entire focus was there with Her in making Her moment.

Worry or not... This is where i need to be.